Choose People Who Choose You Without Condition
"You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody." — Maya Angelou.
You've probably been there.
In a friendship, a relationship, a connection where it always felt like you were proving your place. Where love was given in doses, depending on how convenient, how pleasing, how easy you were. Where attention felt earned, affection felt rationed, and safety was always just slightly out of reach.
And you stayed. Not because you didn't know better but because some part of you hoped it would change. Because they saw parts of you, and sometimes that was enough. Because the connection felt real, even if the consistency didn't.
You don't have to keep choosing people who don't know how to choose you back.
You don't have to keep proving your worth to people who only offer love with strings attached. You don't have to make yourself easier, quieter, or simpler just to fit into someone else's limited capacity.
You are allowed to want a love that shows up without condition. Love that doesn't vanish when you speak your truth. Love that doesn't shrink when things get hard. Love that holds you steady, even when you're not at your most likeable.
Because real connection is not about performance, it's about presence.
And presence doesn't flinch when your edges show. Presence doesn't disappear when you say I need more. Presence doesn't ask you to audition for a role you already deserve.
It just stays.
Now, choosing someone doesn't mean constant agreement or perfect alignment. But it does mean willingness, willingness to stay in the room, to learn from each other, to make space not just for the polished parts but for the messy, growing human process of being known.
And you deserve exactly that.
You deserve someone who meets you without flinching, who doesn't make your depth feel like a burden, who doesn't offer love only when it's convenient.
You don't need to settle for a connection that's constantly pulling away when things get real. You don't need to explain yourself endlessly just to be held. You don't need to water yourself down to be palatable in small doses.
The people meant for you won't require that shrinking. They will choose you, without condition, without hesitation.
And you'll feel the difference.
You won't feel like a negotiation or a test. You'll feel steady. Seen. Safe.
So stop begging to be chosen. Start choosing yourself. Start choosing people who reflect that back, not in words, but in presence, not in promises, but in patterns.
Let your next chapter be built on that kind of love.
The kind that stays.
Join me and fellow seekers for an intimate, online salon hosted by Evening Edits Saloon on Zoom. Cozy up with your favorite drink and dive into a meaningful conversation about the true nature of discipline, whether it’s rigid self-control or mindful choice, a burden or a form of freedom. Click here for to join us.