Most People Are Neither For You Nor Against You
They are simply for themselves.
It’s easy to take things personally.
The friend who stops texting back. The colleague who’s cold in meetings. The stranger who looks right through you. It’s easy to read into these moments and assume the worst: Did I do something wrong? Did I say too much? Did I not say enough?
The human brain is wired for stories, and when we don’t have the full one, we tend to fill in the blanks with self-blame.
Most people are neither for you nor against you.
They are simply for themselves.
And that’s not cruelty. That’s reality.
Most people are busy living in the middle of their internal storm. They’re navigating their fears, regrets, insecurities, and distractions. They’re processing what happened yesterday. They’re worried about tomorrow. They’re lost in their world, just like you sometimes are.
You are not the centre of anyone’s story except your own.
That doesn’t mean you’re insignificant. It means you’re not responsible for the way others move through life.
It means their withdrawal might have nothing to do with you.
It means their silence might be about their own overwhelm.
It means their coldness might be a defence, not a judgment.
We spend so much energy interpreting other people’s behaviour. We look for meaning in tone, in timing, in texts left unanswered. But often, it means far less than we think.
Sometimes people are rude because they’re in pain.
Sometimes people are distant because they don’t know how to ask for help.
Sometimes people can’t love you in the way you deserve, not because you’re unlovable, but because they’ve never learned how to love anyone, not even themselves.
And sometimes people just… drift.
Not out of anger. Not out of cruelty. Just life. Shifting seasons. Changing capacity. Diverging paths.
If you can stop taking it personally, you can stop carrying so much weight that was never yours.
You can free yourself from the exhausting task of decoding every behaviour.
You can stay rooted in your truth, instead of constantly questioning your worth based on someone else’s emotional weather.
Because here’s the absolute freedom: you don’t need everyone to be for you.
You don’t need universal approval to feel grounded.
You don’t need to be everyone’s favourite.
You need to stay in alignment with yourself.
To speak with kindness. To act with integrity. To live from your values, not from your insecurity.
Let people come and go.
Let them be complex and contradictory.
Let them misunderstand you.
You don’t have to carry their confusion.
Most people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. And that’s a relief. It means you’re free to live your life without the constant burden of perception.
It means you can stop performing.
Stop pleasing.
Stop contorting yourself to avoid being misread.
You can show up as you are.
You can trust your own heart.
You can release the story that says you must be universally understood to be fully seen.
Because the truth is, you only need a few people to get you.
But first, you need to get yourself.
And that begins by putting down the stories you were never meant to carry.
Let people think what they will.
Let them misunderstand.
Let them go.
And come home to your clarity.
To your peace.
To the quiet power of not needing everyone to be for you… because you’re finally for yourself.