The Wisdomous - Holding space, reinvention and giving up.
Welcome to another edition of The Wisdomous!
The past week was very kind to me. I met friends, had a grâce matinée on Sunday and put effort into a recently learnt technique; holding space.
Holding space means to be with someone without judgment. To donate your ears and heart without wanting anything back. To practice empathy and compassion. To accept someone's truth, no matter what they are. To allow and accept. Embrace with two hands instead of pointing with one finger. To come in neutral. Open. For them. Not you. Holding space means putting your needs and opinions aside and allow someone to be. Her. Self.
In short, “Holding space is the process of witnessing and validating someone else’s emotional state while simultaneously being present to your own.”
This is hasn't been easy for me as I tend to be the "fixer" type. Still, I am developing my empathy muscle and learning to lend an ear to friends without offering advice, giving insights, handing them solutions, bombing them with alternatives. I am learning to do better for my friends.
I hope someone in your life holds space for you.
A few learnt lessons
If people aren’t holding space for you, you are not becoming. Instead, you are surviving. And surviving isn’t living. It’s standing in comfort, which is called being stuck.
The outcome of holding space is not decided by something you’ve done; it’s determined by something you’ve created.
Holding space is not something that we can master overnight. It’s a complex practice that evolves as we practice it, and it is unique to each person and each situation.
A person’s “believability” is a function of their capabilities, the evidence of their track record, and their willingness to say what they think.
Pursue things that build Royalty
What I wrote
When to break up: The highway will diverge at times, and if you aren't on the ball, you will lose sight of each other completely and forever. You have to keep checking that you are both singing from the same map to speak, both heading for the same destination, both going in the same direction even.
What I read
How to hold space for others: Learning how to hold space for someone effectively is a skill that most people are not taught, but the good news is that we can all learn. When we do so, we allow for deep connection and healing.
How to reinvent yourself: Don’t regret the storm that left you deserted here. Please don’t be anxious about life in front of you, although it’s hard. Surrender to the current moment. Serve the moment. It’s the only master you need to listen to.
Idenati: A tool to simplify your experience, to organize everything you do online in one place, allowing you to focus and be more productive.
For your eyes and ears
My kind of woman by Ric Hassani.
Running to you by Chike ft Simi.
My everything by Sauti Sol ft India Arie.
Cherry: This movie explores beautifully so many concepts.
Minari: Lots of learning about family and definitely oscar-worthy.
I hope you find value in what I share; how about forwarding this one to a friend?