Vulnerability is not synonymous with weakness.
Welcome to The Wisdomous -
a friendly email sent to you every week to nourish your mental wealth and give you a better perspective on life. You will find micro-lessons from macro thinkers, a great story, fabulous reads, and fun suggestions.
I hope you are well; I have been well and took a few weeks to reflect and plan the year thoroughly - This newsletter has taught me to explore my vulnerabilities, so I went live on Instagram a few days ago, my first live despite being on the network for ten years. So hearing my profound pains was a growing moment for me.
I've always been terrified of this sensation because, like many others, I mistook it for weakness - being vulnerable isn't what a strong person is meant to be.
A strong person keeps everything to themselves, fights their own battles, doesn't depend on anybody, they have to toughen up, show no emotions, deal with problems privately, become their support system, have no friends since they can backstab them, they find the courage and are a lonely wolf.
The worst thing about making yourself rigid and locking everyone else out of your life is that you end up rotting from the inside out, like a fruit that has been in a freezer for too long.
An avocado or a pineapple may seem beautiful on your refrigerator shelf until you open them and realise the darkness they contain has destroyed them.
I am not a nutritionist, but I know that when chilled, the temperature lowers from the outside to the centre of the fruit, with the exterior being the coldest. It is maintained chilled to extend shelf life and prevent deterioration; nevertheless, although the surface looks of high quality, the mean temperature could not penetrate to the inside, causing it to rot eventually.
Be wary of buying any fruit that feels too chilly to the touch, but be courageous enough not to be a cold-hearted person since this will only cause you to rot from the inside out.
The rotting from inside is the anguish we experience when we fail to move on, the alienation we feel when we are among others, the healing that we only see in the distance because we can't reach it, and the damage we inflict on others when we can't cope with our own.
What are you going to do now?
I'm now reading a few beautiful books; in February, I'll concentrate on autobiographies; do you have any favourites?
How to feel more pride: Pride is essential to mental wellbeing. Conversely, allowing yourself to feel satisfaction boosts self-esteem, motivation and hopefulness.
Don't counter your instinct with your intelligence.
Notice that feeling like you should say something is different from saying something.
Making your life more effortless takes effort.
Until you change your mindset, you'll always recycle unwanted experiences.
Messes and mistakes make us stronger
Change your thoughts; your story changes.
Change your story; your feelings change.
Change your feelings; your actions change.
Change your actions; your results change.
Change your results, your life changes.
Book of Love: Henry's first book fails to sell to anybody. A promotional trip in Mexico is required when his book becomes a surprising smash there. The shocked Henry learns his boring book has been recast by Mexican translator Maria into a passionate, sensual novel.
The Wonder Years: A coming-of-age narrative told from the perspective of Dean, a 12-year-old boy growing up in a black middle-class household in Montgomery, Alabama. Dean's uplifting and hilarious memoirs demonstrate how his family discovered their "wonder years" amid a chaotic period. Narrated by Don Cheadle
The Weekly question
How do you recover from a hard day?
Until the next one,
stay safe and sound!