We Are Not as Important (or as Good) as We Think We Are—And That's Okay!
While we are constantly encouraged to value ourselves and our uniqueness, we often fall prey to inflated notions of our own importance.
With its curated images of success, social media amplifies this self-perception, reinforcing the idea that we are unique, extraordinary, and deserving of universal admiration. But deep down, many of us grapple with the gnawing fear that we are not as great or exceptional as we project—or even as we want to believe.
In fact, this realisation—that we are neither as important nor as good as we think—can be liberating. What truly matters is not how special we are but whether we do our best with the talents and opportunities we have. That, ultimately, is enough.
From an early age, we are told to dream big, aim high, and believe in ourselves. There's nothing inherently wrong with this message—ambition can propel us forward, and self-belief is often a prerequisite for achievement.
However, when the narrative becomes too one-sided, it skews our understanding of Success and value. We start equating our worth with accolades, fame, or the approval of others, believing that we must leave a grand legacy or change the world to matter.
Yet, if we step back and look at the broader picture, we see that the world is indifferent to most of us. The vast majority of human beings who have ever lived are forgotten. The civilisations they built, the languages they spoke, and the achievements they celebrated have faded into the background of history. This might seem like a bleak thought, but it's a humbling reminder of the transience of individual importance.
Our society often magnifies the achievements of a select few—great leaders, artists, thinkers—making it easy to forget that even these luminaries are temporary in the grand scheme of things.
Let's take an example of the ancient civilisations of Mesopotamia or the once-mighty empires of Persia and Rome. The rulers of those times were as convinced of their significance as we are of ours today, yet they are now reduced to footnotes in history books, their names and deeds known only to a few scholars.
Today's so-called greats may meet a similar fate in another few centuries. And if that is true for them, how much more so for us?
But does this mean that our lives are meaningless? Far from it.
What it does mean is that we are placing too much importance on how the world sees us or how we think the world should see us.
It is a myth that we need to be important to be worthwhile. What we truly need is to contribute meaningfully, not by grand standards but by doing our best in the little corner of life we inhabit.
Not only do we tend to overestimate our importance, but we often overestimate our goodness as well.
Most people believe themselves to be fundamentally good. We think we are kind, just, and fair. This belief, though comforting, can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it reinforces positive behaviour; on the other, it can prevent us from acknowledging our flaws and growing as individuals.
Psychologists call this the "self-serving bias"—the tendency to view ourselves in an unrealistically favourable light. Studies have shown that when asked to rate their moral behaviour, most people rank themselves above average. Yet, logically, not everyone can be above average. This suggests that many of us walk around with an inflated sense of our virtue.
Recognising that we are not as good as we think is not meant to inspire despair or self-loathing. Instead, it offers an opportunity for self-awareness and growth. When we realise that we have blind spots—areas where we might be selfish, inconsiderate, or less-than-virtuous—we give ourselves the chance to improve. The truth is, no one is perfect, and that's okay. What matters is that we strive to be better.
This brings us to a crucial point: being "good enough" is more valuable than striving to be perfect. It's in the day-to-day decisions we make, the small acts of kindness we perform, and the honest efforts we make that create meaning in our lives.
We don't have to be saints or revolutionaries to make a difference. Doing our best in our own capacity—whether as parents, friends, colleagues, or community members—is what ultimately counts.
Once we let go of the idea that we need to be important or "good" in the grandiose sense, a new kind of freedom opens up.
We can stop chasing unrealistic ideals of greatness and instead focus on what’s within our control: doing our best. By grounding ourselves in this reality, we are better equipped to find fulfilment in the everyday moments that make life meaningful.
Philosophers like the Stoics understood this well. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, repeatedly reminded himself that he was just one small part of a much larger cosmos.
Despite his enormous power, he recognised that his individual significance was limited and that his duty was not to seek glory but to live a virtuous life according to nature.
In Meditations, he wrote, "You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do, say, and think."
This is a beautiful reminder that time is fleeting, and instead of worrying about our legacy, we should focus on living well in the present.
Likewise, Buddhist philosophy teaches that clinging to the self—whether it be our ego, our reputation, or our desire for recognition—is a source of suffering.
It encourages us to transcend the illusion of self-importance and to practice mindfulness, compassion, and humility. When we embrace this perspective, we realise that life is not about becoming important but contributing in whatever way we can.
I have been thinking lately that what matters is not whether we are remembered for our greatness but whether we have lived authentically and done our best.
This idea can feel countercultural in a world obsessed with status and recognition but offers a profound sense of peace. We are not obligated to be extraordinary; we are only obligated to live with integrity, to be kind, and to give our best effort.
“Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” - Albert Schweitzer, the Nobel Peace Prize-winning philosopher.
Success, in this sense, is not about fame or fortune but about the quiet satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best.
So, while it’s true that we are not as important—or as good—as we might like to think, this realisation doesn’t diminish our worth. It frees us to focus on what matters: doing our best, living purposefully, and finding meaning in the small, everyday acts of love, kindness, and effort.
That is enough, and that is more than enough.
Awesome