When life sets your plans on fire, you're not being punished; you're being refined.
Oct 30, 2024
Life, as we know it, isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's more like a playlist with uplifting bops mixed with songs that make you ugly cry — one minute, you're dancing to Lizzo, and the next, you're pondering the universe like a sad Keanu meme. It's in these darker moments that real growth happens.
Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychologist, summed it up perfectly: "What is to give light must endure burning."
In other words, before we shine, we've got to suffer a little — or sometimes, a lot.
Much like your favourite espresso shot, life's most important lessons only come after pressure, heat, and a slight bitterness.
You know how every superhero origin story has that moment where they get wrecked? Peter Parker gets bitten by a spider, Bruce Wayne's parents get shot, and Frodo has to carry an evil ring across Middle-earth (on foot, no less). Real growth, in stories and life, comes through struggle.
You can't become Beyoncé without enduring Destiny's Child-level breakups, and no one just wakes up with Tony Stark's brilliance (and trauma) without a lot of life smacking them around first.
In reality, these trials serve as a refining fire. They strip us of what's inessential — the ego, the shortcuts, the excuses. If life were easy, we'd all be couch potatoes scrolling TikTok instead of evolving into stronger, more thoughtful people.
Think of it like going to the gym: You can't build muscle without breaking it down first. That burning sensation in your quads after leg day? That's character development in real-time.
The takeaway is that adversity, as much as we hate it, is life's personal trainer.
It doesn't feel great, and sometimes it outright sucks. But it's also the thing that builds resilience.
Nietzsche's line—"What does not kill us makes us stronger"—may sound like Kelly Clarkson invented it, but it has held weight for generations. Every challenging moment strengthens our emotional biceps, equipping us for future battles.
When it comes to writing and movies, Joseph Campbell coined the term monomyth or the hero's journey. This journey typically involves a series of steps the hero must take to achieve their goal or complete their quest.
Viktor Frankl, who endured the unimaginable horrors of the Holocaust, found that the people who survived weren't necessarily physically strong — they were the ones who had a reason to keep going.
Does this sound familiar? It's like watching Rocky Balboa drag himself off the mat for "one more round"—the guy is fuelled by purpose, not muscle mass. Frankl's point is that meaning, not the avoidance of pain gives life its depth.
It's during these burning moments that we're forced to rethink everything. Why are we here? What do we value most? And do we really need to answer emails immediately, or is that just society messing with us?
Suffering makes us ask these big questions. It has a way of stripping away the fluff of everyday life and revealing what really matters—like love, purpose, and figuring out whether pineapple belongs on pizza. (It does, by the way.)
The truth is, when things are good, we rarely pause to reflect. When life is easy, we're too busy binge-watching Netflix to ask ourselves if we're happy or just comfortable. But as soon as life throws a curveball—heartbreak, loss, or the Wi-Fi going down—we're forced to sit with ourselves. It's like being left alone at a party with only your thoughts for company—scary but necessary.
Some of the world's most influential people got their glow-up not despite their hardships but because of them.
Nelson Mandela, who came out of 27 years in prison, was not bitter but ready to build bridges. Or Taylor Swift, who transformed every heartbreak into a Grammy-winning empire(never have I seen someone capitalise on romantic loss as much as her; every ex-lover = a Grammy album).
Even Yoda — the wisest Jedi of them — didn't become a legendary mentor without experiencing loss and conflict.
Pain, it turns out, is the ultimate plot twist.
These experiences don't just knock us down; they also push us forward, forcing us to change, learn, and grow. As a breakup playlist on Spotify can lead to some hard-core soul-searching, suffering prompts us to become better versions of ourselves. We emerge with newfound clarity and strength and are a little cooler.
Pain alone doesn't guarantee growth. It's how we respond that matters.
Some people use suffering as a springboard, while others end up bitter. The trick is to see the burning not as a punishment but as a transformation.
Scarred People Light the Way
The most compassionate people you'll meet are often the ones who've been through the most. There's a reason therapists, mentors, and one friend who always knows exactly what to say tend to have some emotional battle scars. They've been there, endured the burning, and are helping others find their light.
It's the same with people who volunteer, support loved ones through tough times, or listen when someone needs to vent. These people aren't offering empty advice; they share wisdom earned the hard way.
It's like the Japanese art of kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. The cracks aren't hidden but highlighted, making the object even more beautiful. The light we offer to others isn't despite our scars but because of them. So, if you've been through the fire, congratulations — you're basically emotional kintsugi.
So, how do you keep shining when life feels set on hard mode? Here are a few tips for enduring the burn with a bit of grace — and maybe even some humour:
Laugh When You Can: Even in the darkest times, a little humour goes a long way. If Frodo can crack jokes while hauling a cursed ring, you can, too.
Find Your Tribe: Surround yourself with people who've also been through the fire. Misery loves company, but growth loves it more.
Create Playlists for Every Mood: Whether you need to cry it out or dance it off, music is the ultimate emotional sidekick.
Celebrate the Small Wins: Did you make it through Monday without crying? Sometimes that's a win. Treat yourself.
Help Others Shine: The best way to forget your own troubles? Light someone else's way. Plus, good karma looks great on you.
To give light, we must endure burning. Life's greatest lessons and most meaningful transformations come through hardship. It's a process, and it's not always fun — like waiting for your sourdough starter to rise, only with more emotional weight. But if you embrace the burn, you'll emerge stronger, kinder, and ready to share your light with others.
Remember, when life sets your plans on fire, you're not being punished; you're being refined
I loved it. Amazing.