Why boundaries often come with guilt.
Boundaries help you stay in your body.
We talk about boundaries like they’re walls.
Like the lines, we draw on paper. Like they’re a list of rules or an emotional checklist. But boundaries, at their core, are not intellectual. They’re embodied.
Boundaries are how you stay in your body when the world pulls at you.
They’re how you stay inside yourself when someone else’s need, urgency, or energy tries to pull you out of alignment.
They’re how you say: I exist. I have limits. I get to decide what’s allowed in my space.
That’s not selfish. That’s how you stay alive in your own life.
Because the moment you abandon your inner cues to please someone else, you leave yourself. And when you do that over and over, it becomes normal.
You begin to live externally, managing how others feel instead of how you feel.
Your body becomes a negotiation instead of a home.
But every time you honour a boundary, something in you returns home.
Your breath deepens. Your chest softens.
Your nervous system begins to trust you again.
You’re not just protecting time or energy; you’re protecting safety.
The safety of being in your skin and knowing you will not abandon yourself, again, for approval, peacekeeping, or emotional labour.
And yes, it can be uncomfortable.
Boundaries often come with guilt.
Primarily if you were raised to believe your job was to make everyone around you comfortable, even at your own expense.
Guilt is not a signal that you’re doing something wrong.
It’s a signal that you’re doing something new.
And newness takes practice.
So when you say no, and your body tenses, stay.
When you set a limit, and someone gets upset, breathe.
When you hold the line, and it feels unfamiliar, trust it.
Boundaries are not barriers to love.
They are the conditions that make real love possible.
Because when you’re allowed to stay inside your body, inside your truth, you’re no longer performing.
You’re no longer twisting yourself into shapes.
You’re present. Whole. Honest.
And that’s the only version of you that can be loved.
We are a few days away from Evening Edits, Here is your invitation.