You Are Allowed to Be Misunderstood

"Don't trade your authenticity for approval," wrote Danielle LaPorte.

There's a part of us that aches to be seen.

To be truly witnessed. To speak and have someone respond, "Yes, I know that feeling too."

We want to be known, not just liked, not just admired, but understood, especially in the tender, tangled places.

We want our inner life to land somewhere soft. We want our hearts to make sense outside of our chest.

And so we explain.

We clarify.
We over-share, over-correct, and over-accommodate.

Not always because the moment demands it, but because we fear being misinterpreted. We fear being seen through the wrong lens, painted with a colour that isn't ours, judged for something we never meant.

Friends, you are allowed to be misunderstood.

You are allowed to speak what's true for you and let the chips fall where they may. You are allowed to walk away from what dishonours you, even if no one else understands your decision. You are allowed to disappoint others in the name of self-honouring.

As Carl Jung said, "The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are." However, this transformation will inevitably confuse, unsettle, or even repel people who have grown accustomed to your old masks.

Trying to be universally understood is a quiet kind of self-abandonment. Because in our quest to control how others perceive us, we lose sight of our truth.

We contort. We dilute. We stay too long. We turn a firm 'no' into a soft 'maybe'. We explain ourselves into emotional exhaustion.

The people meant for you won't require a thesis to trust your heart. They'll feel the sincerity behind your silence.

They'll read the intention in your eyes. They'll sense the constancy in your presence, even when your words falter or your choices are inconvenient to them.

Being misunderstood is uncomfortable; it stirs up the old fears of rejection and disconnection. But as Brené Brown reminds us, "You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both."

Living honestly is often the more courageous choice, and courage rarely feels easy.

You don't owe anyone a version of you that always makes sense.
You don't owe the world a backstory for every boundary.
You don't have to prove your goodness by sacrificing your clarity.

You must first be honest with yourself.
To speak what is real.
To live in alignment, even if it creates distance.

Because the right people, your people, wouldn't need perfect communication to stay connected, they'll remain curious. They'll ask. They'll listen. And when they can't, it won't mean you were wrong. It will simply mean they weren't ready.

There is quiet peace on the other side of letting go. On the other hand, it is no longer necessary to be universally validated.

Let go of the compulsion to narrate yourself into acceptability.
Let go of the performance.
Let them think what they want to believe.

Stand in your clarity.
Speak your truth.
Live with complexity.
Let yourself be misunderstood.
And keep living the truth anyway.