You can see someone’s humanity and still choose yourself.
Compassion Doesn’t Mean Self-Abandonment.
Compassion is beautiful.
It softens the edges of conflict, allows us to see beyond someone’s behaviour into their humanity, and helps us stay tender when it would be easier to shut down.
Sometimes, compassion gets tangled.
It becomes confusing.
It becomes self-abandonment in disguise.
You think: I can see why they hurt me… so maybe I shouldn’t walk away.
Or: They’re struggling, so I should stay, even if it costs me.
Or: They didn’t mean it, so I should forgive and move on.
And while understanding someone can create empathy, it should not erase your boundaries.
You can have compassion for someone’s pain without making it your job to carry it. You can understand someone’s trauma without accepting their harm.
You can see someone’s humanity and still choose yourself.
Compassion should connect you to others but not disconnect you from yourself.
If your kindness costs you clarity, it’s not compassion but conditioning.
You are allowed to say:
I see you. I understand. But this doesn’t work for me.
I forgive you. And I’m still leaving.
I care. And I need space.
That’s not unkind.
That’s how compassion and self-respect coexist.
And that coexistence?
That’s where real love lives.
Evening Edits is a quiet gathering to write, reflect, and soften the stories we carry.
Bring your journal, your tea, your presence.
We’ll meet in stillness and words.